This is a rather delayed response to Gordon and Sharon's posts earlier this month on the theme of gay relationships. I applaud you comment Gordon on your response to letters in 'The Friend' on this theme, particularly the Love the Sinner letter which I've copied below:
'Hating the sin, loving the sinner
Time after time in your letters and articles the overwhelming suggestion is that a homophobe is one who hates homosexual people, and this indeed accords with the dictionary definition. However, it is possible to hate a sin whilst loving the sinner. Sadly we do not yet have a word for this in this context, though it is a condition in which many sincere Friends find themselves, and is in accord with the truest Quaker insights. I pray that homosexual people will accept that true Friends do not hate them personally, but only what they do. If any Friend can coin a word for this condition, I should be glad to hear from him.
Ralph Hill'
I find this notion of hating the sin, loving the sinner, in this context deeply offensive, and nonsensical. I hope that the view expressed in this letter really isn't representative of many Friends in this country.
I do however want to keep the subject open for dialogue as that's the only way to improve our understanding and tolerance. People need to speak there minds, hopefully with their heart and mind open, in an attempt to find a meeting point with those who hold opposing views. Maybe we need to create more spaces within our Meetings for owning our fears and prejudices in the hope of moving towards greater equality and tolerance/ understanding of difference.
It would also be good to get more posts from women on this Blog, where are we all?
The Future of British Quakerism
4 weeks ago
2 comments:
I think there's great value in loving the sinner while hating the sin - but I strongly suspect it's a genuinely tough thing to do, and that it's not what's happening when it comes to sexuality. As Jeremiah says, there's a fundamental difference between making a choice to do harm and being queer. I'm against sex that's abusive, or coercive, or dishonest, or unhappy, regardless of the genders and orientations of the people involved - to me, it's harmful. But the idea that my being attracted to some people, some of whom are male and some of whom are female, is a "sin" is something I find really offensive. I struggled for years to come to terms with my orientation, to accept that I am as I was made to be. I don't honestly understand the idea that my love for my husband is good and true, and should be expressed physically - but if he was a woman, the same feelings would be unnatural and abhorrent.
Actually, the only context I've ever heard people using it in is when defending an anti-queer stance as Christian. Funny, really. I wonder how they feel about non-human animals doing what comes unnaturally in non-heterosexual pairings/groups?
I try hard to not let my sense of being threatened trip me up, and to listen to people who come out with these things. I don't understand why we're such a threat.
I agree: what is the "sin"? What about not judging the other?
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